A Body Piercing Etiquette Guide

I figured I'd take a short break in my blog series, Beating Every Piercing To Death, and focus on something that came up during a piercing I did last week. The client was discussing her recent piercing experience and the rudeness of the piercer. This included several references to her bad breath and other insults. Additionally, he gave the impression that he didn't enjoy what he was doing and had more pressing matters to attend to. 

Now, we all have bad days, frustrating clients, personal or family problems, and the studio is bustling, etc., which can cause one to not be at their best. However, I believe that when you put the title "Professional" in your job title, you should act professionally. The body art industry tends to attract individuals who have tried to avoid the mainstream 9-5 job, but that doesn't mean anyone should put up with or consider rudeness a normality.

In my 20 odd years around the industry I've encountered several very talented narcissistic cocky assholes that when met outside of their profession, I wouldn't have even considered having a short beer with. However a majority of them know how to shut off their cock of the walk attitude and treat their clients better than their children. This is because they were professional. They understood that their clients were under a great deal of stress and being a full-on jerk was only going to make the situation worse.

The reality is that even the most seasoned body art collector must overcome a range of common fears when getting a piercing, tattoo, or other modification. We all fear pain. It is a survival instinct that is tied to our instinct of flight. It is the underlying reason why a majority of us do not engage in dangerous activities, mainly because it might result in our death. A professional understands this and has developed the patience and understanding to guide a client through their fears, helping them reach the goal they have set for themselves. Not only will it enhance the client's experience, but it will also enable the professional to perform in a less stressful and safer manner. I usually do this through a combination of conversations about the client's life, jokes, and providing the client with a great deal of information about myself, my skills, and the procedure. One of the best parts of my working day is meeting new and interesting people from diverse walks of life. Oh, and this is Body Piercing, it should be a good time. It should be fun.

Although I've covered much of this in the past, I think it might be helpful for those selecting a piercer or seeking to understand what the piercing experience should be like. A lot of this translates into choosing a tattoo artist or any service professional, for that matter. 

The Consultation: 

I've never really understood why many artists skip this stage in the piercing process. I'm lazy by nature, and I've found that the more educated my client is, the fewer issues they will have, and thus the better the results in the long run. The consultation is the introduction of what will be required of the client to heal the piercing. Most piercers have a standard presentation for each piercing that covers healing time, daily cleaning, prevention of cross-contamination, jewelry, changes in diet or habits, and both long-term and short-term risks associated with getting the piercing and prolonged wear of the piercing. This brief speech is designed to address the majority of the most common questions asked by clients. Even if you have some piercings, there may be conditions, needs, and risks that are special to the piercing you are considering, so pay attention. Turn off the mobile phone, listen carefully, and try to avoid focusing on questions you are going to ask. 

Part of the reason I find consultations so important is that they provide the client with information that allows them to make an informed decision about whether the piercing or the timing of the piercing is right for them. For example, if you are planning on going to an ocean resort in a few weeks, the piercing will prevent you from swimming, and so getting the piercing after vacation may be a better option. Another example is that your job may put you at a high risk for cross-contamination. Over the years, several piercers have stated that the primary reason they do not offer consultations is that they fear they will deter the client, which is one more reason to avoid piercers who are unwilling to consult beforehand. Chances are, if they lead you to the piercing area without a consultation, they are more concerned with their bottom line than your health, safety, or the outcome of the piercing. The reality is that I've found that not only do clients choose piercings better suited to them, but often they come back for more, mainly because I took the time to explain the risks and what was needed to heal the piercing beforehand.

A little about experimental piercings like implants, micro dermals, surface to surface piercings, etc... The piercer should be forthcoming about risks and their success with the piercings. These should include the high risk of rejection, scarring, infection, or the piercing not healing at all. Too often, I find myself removing jewelry from an upset client who wasn't informed that it was highly possible the piercing would present this outcome. 

The Consultation should cover the following:

• Average healing time
• Cleaning
• Cross Contamination
• Changes needed in diet or habits
• Jewelry choices
• Price

After the introductory consultation, the piercer should ask if you have any questions and provide you with transparent and open information. Do not be afraid of asking questions about sterilization, metal reactions, medical conditions, and other subjects that weren't covered in the consultation. We are all unique, and there may be situations that are exceptional cases.  As piercers, we often answer the same questions over and over, and the answer should be thorough. If you feel that the answer is a basic, rehearsed answer, dig deeper. Ask about their past experience on the subject. A professional should be able to expand on the topic or be willing to admit they have no additional information. This is often the case with medical conditions, and usually, the correct answer is what you should expect. If you are concerned, consult your doctor before getting the piercing. 

Suppose the piercing is private or in an area that needs to be evaluated beforehand. In that case, the piercer should instinctively guide you to an area of the studio that is more private or completely private. If you don't feel comfortable talking about the piercing with other customers around, asking to speak somewhere private shouldn't be a problem. The piercing area should allow for privacy anyway. 

Also, understand that just because the piercer has gone to the trouble of talking to you about the piercing, it doesn't mean that you have to get the piercing at that moment. If you are unsure or need time to consider it, a professional will provide you with the space and time you need to make an informed decision. You shouldn't feel like you're being pushed into getting the piercing, and a professional will know when it's best to let you step away and think about it. Usually I will give the client as much information as I can give them and if they are unsure, I will ask if they need some time to think about. If they say they do, I'll ask if they mind if I move on to another client or return to what I was doing when they came in. Then I will check back with them when I'm done. I always stress that I'm not going anywhere, and the piercing can be done right now or two months from now. What is essential is that they get the piercing when they are entirely sure.

Jewelry Selection:

The piercer should guide you through the jewelry selection and make straightforward suggestions on what they feel will work best for you. They should also ask about concerns you may have about the jewelry's material. Often, when selecting jewelry, it is more about the correct jewelry for the piercing than what is in fashion. Often, the less popular option is the better option. The piercer should openly share their knowledge on what will work best. This is yet another ethical struggle faced by many piercers, who, out of fear of losing a sale, will use incorrect jewelry to make the client happy. A professional will stick to their guns about the best option and have a well-thought-out explanation of the reason. I can't even begin to count the number of well-performed and well-cared-for piercings I've seen over the years that have become problematic because the jewelry was incorrect. 99.99% of the time when I asked the client who choose the jewelry, they said they just picked something out of the case with no input from the piercer at all.

Release Form:

In many ways, this is part of the consultation and may raise some subjects I have already addressed. A lot of studios will hand the sheet to you and ask you to read it before signing. I found early on in my piercing career that a majority of us don't read the forms before jumping in and just filling them out. I have to admit I'm just as bad as everyone else. With piercings and tattooing, release forms are just as much a release from liability as a questionnaire. 

The waiver will cover:

• That the client is of legal age or has the consent of a legal guardian to be pierced
• That the client understands the length of the average healing time and agrees to follow my aftercare instructions until the piercing is healed
• That the client is not allergic to any of the items that I will use during the procedure, including the jewelry material.
• The client has no medical conditions that may affect the procedure or the healing of the piercing
• The client is not under the influence of medications, controlled or uncontrolled substances that may impair their judgment or affect the procedure or healing of the piercing. 

The Set Up, Procedure, and Bedside Manner:

Bedside manner is something that is learned and developed over time. Silence tends to increase anxiety, so the key is conversation. If you have brought moral support, they may be the primary source of the conversation, and a good piercer will figure this out and take a back seat. However, often the conversation is driven by the piercer. I've found that asking questions drives the conversation. Starting with first off, asking the client if they have any questions about the piercing or the procedure. If this doesn't spark a conversation then I'll move on to basic topics like work/school, children, pets, hobbies, motivation for the piercing, family, hometown,  etc... than expand from their.  The key is to get the person talking about themselves, or even better, their main passion, in a relaxed manner. Often, the conversation sparks on a subject and continues through the whole procedure. I don't know how many times I've had a client surprised that the piercing was over because the conversation was so engaging. The conversation should be light, and I often pepper it with some old jokes that I've been telling for years. I will also walk the client through the piercing process and keep them updated on my progress.  

From time to time, a client's fears will get the best of them, and they will begin to delay the piercing. If piercing thousands and thousands of people each year has taught me anything, it is that if someone is delaying a piercing due to anxiety, that anxiety will only grow as the client focuses more and more on their fear of the piercing. In other words, putting it off will only make it worse. The key is to be patient and adapt to the client's needs. Often, they need to get into the proper "Head Space" for the piercing, but often they need to be nudged lightly. Explaining that way, their fear will only increase with more time, and possibly make the experience worse, is frequently the right approach.

Additionally, being honest about what they will likely experience and slowly walking them through it will help reduce their fears. First, I will ask point-blank, "Do you still want the piercing?" If they say yes, then I will walk them through it. For example, I'm just going to put the forceps now. Now I'm going to line up the needle. OK, now just breathe for me. It might seem like a jerk move, but then I just do the piercing. At first, the client may feel a little betrayed by me taking that choice out of their hands, but in the end, they are happy that I made that decision for them. The reality is that one of the keys to being a good piercer is knowing how to catch the client off guard. It usually means the piercing will be less painful and less stressful. 

Now, the wrong approach would be to force the client into the piercing or make threats. From time to time, I may nudge the client by referring to the time or that I have clients waiting, but the piercer should never become angry, insulting, threatening, or condescending. They should keep their head and try to guide you past your fears, which are much greater than the reality of getting a piercing. With just a little patience, most clients will, over time, calm down and get the piercing. Additionally, a professional will recognize when the client isn't calm enough to undergo the piercing safely and will suggest not performing the piercing at all. Understand that this doesn't mean that you do not have to pay for the piercing. The fact is that the jewelry is no longer new, and all the supplies used in the piercing are waste. Not to mention the time the piercer has invested.

Aftercare:

I'm not just talking about the instructions on how to care for the piercing during the healing period, but also about how the client is treated after the piercing is done. Everyone reacts differently to the roller coaster experience of getting a piercing. The piercer should ask questions and study your mental and physical state after the piercing is done. They should be concerned about the client becoming lightheaded or feeling unwell. Often, light headiness, nausea, and/or passing out will not become apparent until a few minutes after the piercing is done. Understand that this is not generally caused by the pain of the piercing experience but by the fear and anxiety of it. Sometimes it can be triggered by the thought of what just happened or even the sight of a small amount of blood. Emotional triggers are different for everyone, and until you are safely on your way, your well-being is the responsibility of your piercer. 

The fact is that light-headedness. Nausea and losing consciousness after piercing is not as common as most think. Usually, it is caused by the client's emotional state, resulting in a drop in blood pressure and a decreased supply of oxygen to the brain. This is often exacerbated by an increase in adrenaline and endorphins produced during the piercing experience. The client's anxiety causes the body to prepare for a traumatic event, and then in the piercing aftermath, it can cause a dilation of the blood vessels, thus reducing a fast drop in blood pressure. 

One of the reasons I ask my clients to stay seated during the aftercare instructions is that a sympathetic syncopal episode may not occur immediately after the piercing is completed. Sometimes it seems to take a few minutes for the information to sink in, or the client's emotions may change for one reason or another. Your piercer should be able to assess your condition by observing your skin color, metal awareness, body posture, and other factors. They should also verbally check with you on your condition. One of the reasons I have my clients stay seated is that often standing too quickly can trigger a reaction, but also that it is easy to void, causing harm to yourself if you're standing. At the point the person expresses or shows signs of light-headedness, I will help them recline, offer water, soda, or juice, and candy. Often, raising one's blood sugar level reduces the effect and makes the person feel better, but more importantly, it takes the body time to return to a normal state.

What your piercer shouldn't do is rush you out the door as soon as the piercing is done, and they should take the time out of their day to stay with you until you are feeling better, regardless of how many clients they have waiting. Additionally, if you're driving, they should suggest that you have someone else drive or offer to have you stay in the studio until you're 100% recovered.  If it takes 20 minutes for you to feel okay, then it takes 20 minutes. Your piercer should be focused on you and ensure you are healthy. Though not usually life-threatening, there is a risk that fainting and light-headedness may be signs of a more serious health condition, and someone needs to be with you the whole time until it passes in case you may require medical treatment.

Things you shouldn't experience:

• Rude, lewd, or other conversations that make you uncomfortable.
• Insults about yourself, your body, or anything directed toward you.
• Insulting you for your fears, anxiety, or reaction to the piercing experience.
• Racist comments
• Complaints about other customers
• Sexual advancements
• Being rushed or hurried through the piercing.
• Demonstrative comments about the piercer's competition.

The last one is a big one. As is often the case, clients will ask about others in the industry and what my opinion of their skills is. It is often tempting to unleash an endless rant about all the mistakes and mishaps that I've encountered in my work. However, if you consider that a majority of the work I've seen is problematic at best and does not accurately represent their work, it isn't fair or proper for me to comment on their skills. The fact is that I may know them socially, but haven't spent a single minute in their studio. Also, as the industry has expanded over the last 20 years, I often have no clue or have never met the person. So, I know nothing of their character, skills, training, or ethics. 

It has always been my belief that the primary motivation for complaining about one's competition to a client is to enhance one's own reputation. I would much rather let my work speak for itself and let my stratified clients build my reputation. This can't be done by trying to undermine someone else's business and work. Additionally, clients often inquire about other studios that offer similar services. Frequently, I feel that this is more about carrying on a conversation about the industry than anything, but as I stated above, in most cases, I don't know much about that studio or the artists who work there. There was a time when everyone working in the industry knew just about everyone else; that time is long gone. Although a studio may occasionally refer to another studio, it isn't the norm, unless it is a service that they don't provide. It's also kind of rude to ask for a referral to another studio. 

In conclusion, Professional Body Piercing is a service. As a piercer, you should professionally provide that service with a focus on education and patience to spare. If you are willing to give up those, consider finding a different career. As a client understands, one crucial part of the piercing experience is that the customer is not always right.  What you are paying for is the expertise, knowledge, and experience of your chosen piercer. Keep an open mind to their suggestions and advice because, though it might not be what you want to hear, you are going to be a great deal happier with the results.